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85/15 Theory

The "85/15 Theory" is unproven as science but from an

experiential perspective, is indeed fact.

*This message is not approved by the Psychiatric Foundation of America.

 

I've been reticent to write this entry as I have been compiling data on it for some time. About 39.5 years, so you know it's not bullshit.

 

I think Tom Hanks said it best in Splash: "All my life I've been waiting for someone

and when I find her, she's...she's a fish."

 

A substitution might be: "All my life I've been SEARCHING for someone and when I find her, she's...she's a _____________:

1. Substance abuser

2. Un-dealt with childhood/young adult trauma

3. Liar

4. Manipulator 

5. Overtly Jealous

6. Flake (not that into you)

In Madlibs fashion, you can insert your own experience.

85% of people I've encountered in my life are not worth knowing. Is that the Politically Correct way of saying, they're pieces of shit? Well, that's just it, they're not...not all of them. The 85% consist of every permutation of bad egg you would imagine.

The 15% have sometimes been described as: "well, it's more like 10%"...however, I'm trying to be an idealist optimist here. I recognize that some of the 85%tites want to be 15'ers, for lack of a better term. 

There is a chasm that they cannot cross, something is holding them back. Many times it's not even an external. Seemingly, there is no tangible explanation for why they can't make it to the other side. They just don't. 

I would like to say that I do not really know "The Liar", but I do know those who lie incessantly... and sadly, it's mostly to themselves. They tell themselves that they can stop, this or that, whenever they want, turning an about face at any time... and the mother of all platitudes: I'm not hurting people in the wake of my selfishness. 

 

These are lies. To believe them and proliferate them is to become, a Liar.

 

There is a whole subculture of people that are really interesting, have much to offer in the way of life experience and are extremely attractive as just interesting people. I find myself wanting to align with these folks, as would anyone. Sadly, I can't. I won't cross the line from being awake to becoming a zombified culture of vicious cycular hot~mess'. Nor can I capitulate to the anesthetized lure of sexual/intimacy, forging into some retarded belief that I can magically tame a toxic relations into working. It doesn't. It never has. 

I can't be party to disfunction and certainly not since I've awakened. When was this transition? I'm not sure it's an on/off switch. I believe you just get there. Just like training for something, you never master it. Being awake in this Universe, multiverse, existence, what have you...it's a constant challenge to learn the reasoning, to develop some sort of syllabus to follow, and to keep from getting scathed as much as possible during the process.

Previously I've been on the ferris wheel and subsequently decided to get off. I was getting nausuas from the constant cycle with no perceivable beginning or end. Now I observe those on this ride, hoping that some of you will feel sick enough too and stop your spinning, slow down the cycle and fostering an environment for awakening.

 

The truth is: You can. You can cross over to the other side. And for those of you that don't, I will continue to hope for you as well.

 

 

For SAG:

Her little white teeth and puckered smile made me happy, her inquisitive mind asked why, piquing my curiosity about her even more. A pixy like creature with a cute little bounce, her laid-back response to all that is ridiculous intrigued the kindrid spirit inside of me. But there was a sadness in her eyes, a potential being squandered, and worst of all... she knew it.

And of all the things I wanted most, for her to be truly happy was first. 

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